theonion:

Weekend Magazine

I missed it…….fuck!

theonion:

Weekend Magazine

I missed it…….fuck!

funnyordie:

The 25 Most Unfortunate Names in Sports History
You made it to the big leagues! Now everyone will see your name in lights! Kids will proudly wear your jersey to school! Hold on, your name is what?!

These are awesome!

funnyordie:

The 25 Most Unfortunate Names in Sports History

You made it to the big leagues! Now everyone will see your name in lights! Kids will proudly wear your jersey to school! Hold on, your name is what?!

These are awesome!

theonion:


Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk: Full Report

At-a-Boy!

theonion:

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk: Full Report

At-a-Boy!

funnyordie:

Fat Mike of NOFX Gets Classy Ron Burgundy Tattoo

NOFX frontman Mike Burkett (Fat Mike) isn’t just a punk-rock icon. He’s a tattoo connoisseur, and his new piece is his classiest yet!

MY NEXT TATOO!!!

MOTHERS DAY 2013

We all need to acknowledge the tough work mothers do…….from the beginning….they wipe our asses and make us feel ok when were pissed or hungry…….Pretty thankless if you ask me……Thanks mom for all you do and for all you’ve done…….If your mom is gone, then today is tough, hard……frankly it’s fucked up……but then we use this day to acknowledge them and say thanks for making us smile, for showing us to tie our shoes…….reminding us to respect our elders…….grandmas……aunts…….friends…..many are gone and missed…….but never forgotten…….Finally to the Mothers in my life………and you know who you are……….Congratulations for being the top of the heap……..second to none……a shining example of what love is……Today I celebrate with joy those mothers my friends that never complain and go beyond what love is……..to the mothers in my family……continue to be hard on “those fucking brats”……because I know they’re really your angels……….Finally to my mom…….my “mama”……..thanks for chasing me around with the slipper, I know you could’ve caught me and beat my ass…..but you always let me get away……but later on you always found me and hugged me and loved me………to ALL THE MOTHERS……..here and in our hearts………we love you very much……..all our love……..your brats.

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest."

— Irish Proverb

theonion:


Mike D’Antoni Calls Phil Jackson To See If He’s Interested In Lakers Head Coaching Job: Full Report


Come back Phil……..all is forgiven

theonion:

Mike D’Antoni Calls Phil Jackson To See If He’s Interested In Lakers Head Coaching Job: Full Report

Come back Phil……..all is forgiven

"America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless… but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you’d put on the end of your child’s pencil."

— John Stewart, The Daily Show

funnyordie:

Comedian Prompts Kids to Play Drug Dealer Prank on Parents

Comedian Nathan Fielder tweeted a brilliant idea: Text your parents to imply you’ve got drugs for sale, then quickly ask them to ignore what you just said.

Read all the amazing results, and follow Nathan on Twitter!

It’s happened to the best of us……